


Out of the Spiral

by Kika988



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Established Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 17:43:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kika988/pseuds/Kika988
Summary: Keith knows — heknows, without a shadow of a doubt — that if he hadn't actually been interested in Adam, he would have pretended to be, for Shiro's sake. He would have tried to foster a connection where there wasn't one. It would have been worth it, to stay by Shiro's side, to see him happy.The problem with that is sometimes he can't help but wonder if that's exactly what Adam has done. Times like right now, it seems like that's the only reasonable explanation for where they've ended up.Things have been going pretty well in Keith, Adam, and Shiro's relationship - at least until Adam sticks his foot in his mouth and sends Keith running.





	Out of the Spiral

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lionescence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionescence/gifts).

> I love the idea of Adasheith so, so much, so I was super excited to write this one. I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Many thanks to Ocean and Kelsey for the beta!

Sometimes, Keith isn't sure how he got so lucky.

He remembers being 16, sitting on the couch in Adam and Shiro's apartment, working on homework while they tidied up after dinner in the kitchen. They worked well together, Shiro washing while Adam dried and put dishes away. He could hear the low murmur of their voices, a soft ripple of laughter. It was an easy, effortless sort of domesticity he'd never really seen before.

Eventually, they'd make their way out to the living room. Adam would sit on the couch while Shiro sprawled on the floor, back pressed to Adam's legs, occasionally leaning forward to look at Keith's work. Adam might run gentle fingers through Shiro's hair, or Shiro might mindlessly rub at the springy hair at Adam's ankle. Those little gestures always caught Keith's eye, always made him flush and look away.

Shiro had asked him once, all furrowed eyebrows and genuine concern, if it made him uncomfortable, them being affectionate in front of him. Keith hadn't known how to tell him that he wasn't sure if he was jealous of Adam, Shiro himself, or just their relationship in general. Instead, he'd assured Shiro it was fine, and pretended like he hadn't watched their goodbye kiss earlier that afternoon with a sort of _want_ that he didn't fully know how to interpret.

He didn't think he'd ever have anything like that. They were good together. Solid. They seemed unshakeable. And when they broke up, Keith felt like part of _his_ world had somehow shattered.

The next few years hadn't left a whole lot of time for exploring relationships, what with all the being flung out into space and fighting in an intergalactic war and all, but he learned a lot about himself in that time, so when he got Shiro — the _real_ Shiro — back and he'd looked up at Keith like he was everything, he'd thought, _Yes, this is it. All this time, it's always been him. It was always going to be Shiro._

Then they'd gotten back to Earth, and Adam was there, and what should have been a complication somehow wasn't, because Keith isn't sure how he got so lucky, but somehow both of these men seem to want him here.

He shifts in the bed, causing Shiro to murmur behind him, pressing his face into Keith's back. Keith hates to disturb him, but he's never been one to be able to go back to sleep once he's awake, so he slides out of bed as carefully as possible. Shiro grumbles in his sleep, then rolls over to wrap an arm around Adam instead.

Keith uses the gray early morning light filtering in through the gap in the curtains to navigate the room, grabbing a pair of shorts he's pretty sure is Adam's and one of Shiro's tank tops. When he surfaces from digging through their shared sock drawer, he sees the gleam of Adam's eyes in the near-darkness.

"Okay?" Adam asks quietly.

"Fine," Keith assures him. "Just woke up. Gonna go for a run." They speak in hushed tones that somehow feel loud anyway in the quiet room. Shiro doesn't stir.

Adam hums his understanding. "Be careful," he says, his traditional parting. It always amuses Keith, being told to be careful _now_, for something as mundane as a run, after all the stupidly dangerous things they've done in space.

"Will do," he promises. He's caught briefly in Adam's expression, somewhere between hopeful and expectant, and has to remind himself that this is okay, he's allowed this. He leans in, pressing a kiss to Adam's lips, which curve against his own in a smile that warms him.

The warmth carries him through his run, the steady thump-thump-thump of his feet against the track behind the Garrison office buildings relaxing him. 

"Keith!" He looks up from where he's refilling his water bottle to smile at Veronica's approach. "You're out here early."

Keith raises a shoulder in a shrug. "I'm not good at getting back to sleep once I wake up. Figured I might as well make use of the time." Veronica hums her understanding.

"I'm the same way. Have to say, though, I think I'd struggle a lot more getting out of bed if I had not just one but _two_ handsome men in bed with me," she says, laughing delightedly when Keith flushes. "You know I'm just teasing. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Keith says, still not quite meeting her eyes. She was like a slightly more chill version of Lance, and she'd promptly adopted all the paladins as honorary siblings during the war — but like Lance, she could be a bit much at times. "It's… going well, I think."

"You think," she echoes, scoffing a little. "The Captain has been practically floating through the Atlas halls, he's so happy. I don't know Adam as well, but you three seem good together." She leans in, nudging her shoulder against Keith's. "You've got it good, dude. Enjoy it."

Keith smiles and nods. "Yeah, they're great. I should probably actually get back." 

Veronica waves him on. "Yes, shoo, go enjoy your boys. I'm going to run a few more laps and hope a certain Galra girl shows up to appreciate these tiny shorts I squeezed into," she says, dropping a wink before turning to head back to the track.

The walk back to the apartment isn't a long one, but Keith meanders a bit, taking his time. He's always thrown off when people comment on his relationship with Shiro and Adam — it's still fairly new, but because of who they are and what they've done, people seem oddly _interested_ in them.

And he shouldn't care what people say. He _doesn't_, really. It's just hard to reconcile the relationship he's in with the one people seem to _think_ he's in. Most of the Blades haven't given it a second thought, as relationships with three or more people aren't at all rare among the Galra, but folks at the Garrison… well. That's a different story. 

Some don't like the idea of three people together. Keith thinks that's sort of dumb, since it isn't affecting their lives at all, but those he can ignore, mostly. The others, the ones who think he's living the dream… those are harder. 

The thing is, they should be right. He's in a relationship with two men he's quietly had a crush on for _years_, one of whom he fell head over heels in love with while they fought side by side in space. The other — well, he hasn't said it yet, hasn't told him, but he's pretty sure he's in love with Adam, too. These two amazing men decided they wanted him; how could things be anything less than perfect, right?

It's just, sometimes he can't help but wonder if he's a third wheel. If maybe they'd both be happier if they could fully focus on each other without having to divide that attention with him.

"Hey, hot stuff!" 

Keith's jerked out of his thoughts by a shout. He looks up to see Shiro leaning out of the second-story apartment window, smiling down at him, laughing a little at the flush that blooms on Keith's cheeks. "You gonna come up for breakfast or loiter down there all day?"

Keith grins; it's hard not to, in the face of Shiro's sunny expression. "On my way," he promises. He's being stupid, he tells himself as he jogs up the stairs. Things are good, he's just still adjusting.

* * *

Adam hears the front door open, then-

"That smells amazing," Keith sighs.

"That's how you know Takashi didn't cook it," Adam replies wryly. As Keith steps into the kitchen, Adam shifts deftly to one side, dodging the towel Shiro flicks in his direction in response. 

"I'm sure you provided plenty of emotional support, babe," Keith assures Shiro, leaning in for a kiss. Shiro kisses him slow and sweet and smiles when they part. Adam can't help but watch them; they're beautiful together, and he still can't quite believe they're his.

"Good morning," Shiro says, leaning in to press his forehead to Keith's. "Adam said you were awake really early. Everything ok?"

"I'm fine," Keith assures him. "Just got antsy." He's gone soft under Shiro's gaze, a sort of open and vulnerable Adam feels lucky to be trusted enough to be allowed to see. 

"As cute as you two are, you're also in the way," Adam says, smiling at them. "Here." He hands them each a plate, already loaded with breakfast. "Go ahead and sit, I'll be out as soon as my toast is done."

They linger a bit over breakfast, Shiro and Keith relating a ridiculous story of the time Coran had them go snipe hunting — and despite their incredulous responses, it had turned out space snipes were, in fact, real. 

Adam is still chuckling as he carries the dishes into the kitchen, depositing them into the sink for Shiro to wash up. He sets about wiping down the stove and counters, reaching around Shiro to drop the rag in the sink and rinse his hands off when he's done, dropping a quick kiss on the angle of Shiro's jaw while he's in so close anyway. When he pulls away, he sees Keith lingering in the doorway, watching them with a surprisingly soft look on his face.

"Enjoying the show?" Adam asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yep," Keith replies. "You guys really know how to work a kitchen."

Adam laughs, hooking a finger in the neckline of Keith's tank top to drag him in for a kiss. He wrinkles his nose a bit as he pulls away.

"You smell like sweaty boy."

"That might be because I am, in fact, a sweaty boy at the moment."

"A sweaty boy in my shorts," Adam retorts, snapping the waistband of said shorts. Keith huffs out a laugh, barely audible against the sound of running water where Shiro's washing dishes behind them. "Not that I don't enjoy seeing you in my clothes, but you know you can leave some clothes here if you want, right?" 

Adam isn't sure why Keith has been so shy of bringing things over, but he has, so Adam tries to say it as casually as possible, even going so far as to bookend it with a joke. "Unless you get as big a thrill out of the occasional theft as you did as a teenager," he adds, grinning. "In which case, don't let me stop you."

He's not even finished speaking before he realizes he's said something wrong. Keith's gone very still, very tense where he had been relaxed against Adam.

"Keith?" he says, ducking his head to try to catch Keith's eye. Keith's expression is pinched, his brow furrowed, and his gaze fixed firmly over Adam's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Keith says instantly. "I just, um. I just remembered something I need to do. I gotta run, but I'll see you guys later, okay?" 

"Keith, wait, I-"

Keith's always been fast, though, and now is no exception — the door's shut behind Keith before Adam can even finish his thought. 

Shiro steps out from the kitchen, hands still sudsy and wet, frowning at the door. 

"What's wrong?"

Adam swallows hard, fighting the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I don't know," he admits. "But I think I just messed up."

* * *

As soon as the door closes behind him, Keith whistles for the space wolf. He appears in a burst of light, pressing his snout into Keith's thigh and whining, as if he can sense his friend's distress. 

"I'm okay, boy," Keith assures him, though he feels anything but, at the moment. "Take me out to the shack?" The wolf huffs once, then Keith's standing on the front porch, old wooden planks creaking ominously under his feet. "Thanks," Keith says. "I'm good, you can go back to running around." The wolf whines again, pressing a cold nose into the palm of Keith's hand. "Seriously," he promises. "I'm fine."

And he is, he knows that. He doesn't _feel_ fine at the moment, but he will be. The wolf licks at Keith's hand, as if to remind him he'll be there if needed, and then blinks away. Keith's left standing alone on the porch of the shack, feeling a little shaken and a little silly for his reaction.

The thing is, he isn't sure how he got so lucky as to have two men like Shiro and Adam willing to be in a relationship with him, so he's never been able to think of it as permanent. After all, Shiro probably wants some sort of normalcy after all he's been through, and Adam can provide that. And Adam… 

Well, Adam probably still sees him as the kid Shiro had brought home one afternoon and deposited on their couch, announcing almost proudly how he'd stolen Shiro's car.

_Unless you get as big a thrill out of the occasional theft as you did as a teenager._

It'd been so casual, so offhand, and yet still so painful. A blatant reminder that he can never escape his past, can never be anything more than the teenage delinquent most of the Garrison still sees him as. He can deal with that from everyone else, but from Adam?

It stings. A lot. Because if Adam really still sees him as that unruly teenager, does he even really want Keith in their relationship? Or would he be happier if it was just him and Shiro? 

The thought makes his chest ache.

Keith finds the key hidden in the eaves over the porch and unlocks the door, the lock rusty and grinding but still functional. The inside of the shack is shadowed and cool, shifting currents of dust motes flying through the air in the shaft of light coming in through the door. Keith shuts it behind him in a bid to keep out the worst of the desert heat. 

He kicks lightly at the couch cushions, in case any snakes or scorpions had decided to hole up underneath them, then flops onto the couch, a wild flurry of dust flying up around him as he does so. He sneezes twice, then draws his legs up, tipping his head forward to rest his forehead on his knees.

_Polyamory_. That's what humans call it, anyway. The Galra don't have a specific word for it, as it's considered just the same as any other relationship. It had seemed like the perfect solution, at the time. Keith and Shiro had landed on Earth already in love, even if they hadn't voiced it yet, but then there was Adam. Keith had seen the longing on Shiro's face when they'd found Adam, but had barely had time to be alarmed by it before he'd felt his own spark of interest in him reignite. Adam had seemed to return that interest, and they'd fallen into the relationship _so easily_.

Now, he wonders if it was _too_ easy.

That should have been his first clue he was doing something wrong, he thinks bitterly. There had been no initial rejection, no struggle to make things fit, no anger or jealousy to contend with. Relationships of every kind have always been hard for Keith. From teachers to classmates to teammates, it's always been difficult for him to connect. Shiro is the only exception — Shiro, and now Adam. Sure, they butt heads sometimes — they both have a bit of a temper, so it's hardly surprising — but it's never been anything major. It's been smooth. It's been easy. Except...

Keith knows — he _knows_, without a shadow of a doubt — that if he hadn't actually been interested in Adam, he would have pretended to be, for Shiro's sake. He would have tried to foster a connection where there wasn't one. It would have been worth it, to stay by Shiro's side, to see him happy.

The problem with that is sometimes he can't help but wonder if that's exactly what Adam has done. Times like right now, it seems like that's the only reasonable explanation for where they've ended up.

Galra across the universe are able to make trio relationships work all the time, Keith thinks miserably. His own parents probably would have both had a relationship with Kolivan, if his dad had lived long enough. He can't help but feel that he's somehow letting them down by handling his own love life so poorly.

* * *

Adam's always admired Shiro's competence at the controls of any vehicle, from hoverbikes to fighter jets, and the way he handles his rugged SUV is no exception. He's not relaxed, exactly, but he's focused, one hand on the wheel, the other on the gearshift between them. Adam only wishes he was in the headspace to more fully enjoy the drive.

"I just didn't think," he says quietly. "I was trying to… to make it sound less important. He hasn't wanted to leave things at my place, and I was trying to take the pressure off, and-"

"It was an honest mistake, and he'll understand that." Shiro's voice is calm and steady, drawing him out of his spiral of anxiety. "You just hit a nerve," he admits. 

"It's a nerve I should have anticipated," Adam protests. "He's worked hard to become the man he is now."

"He has," Shiro agrees. He reaches out, squeezing Adam's leg gently. "And you know that. I think you might just need to make sure _he_ knows that you know that."

Adam is silent for a few minutes, frowning as he turns his head to look out at the expanse of desert they're driving through. Gently-sloping dunes break up the flat landscape, the occasional scrub brush or cactus adding a splash of color. Shiro's thumb sweeps back and forth across Adam's knee, a comforting touch. 

"I feel like I'm always working at a bit of a disadvantage with him," Adam finally says, his words barely audible over the sound of the engine. "I don't know if I'll ever catch up to the bond you two have." He pauses as Shiro's thumb stills. 

"Adam-"

"It's been months, and he won't even bring a toothbrush to keep at my place," Adam says, scowling. "Maybe we need to reconsider-"

"Adam, sweetheart, no." Shiro's pulling off onto the non-existent shoulder, tires scrubbing through the sand. When they've come to a stop, he turns to face Adam, taking both his hands. "You know he's not had a lot of places he could call home and truly feel comfortable in. I think it's just hard for him to feel like he can settle in."

Adam thinks of the foster homes he's heard about, of how Keith had run from the Garrison, how he'd had less than a year at his shack before he'd been whisked away into space — where he'd bounced between the Castle, the Blades, and something called a _space whale_ that he still doesn't fully understand. 

"I can understand that," Adam allows. "I just… need to convince myself that it's not him trying to keep it easy to cut and run."

Shiro nods, turning to shift the car into gear and begin driving again. "Sounds like you two need to talk, then."

They pull up outside the shack around mid-afternoon; they'd waited a few hours before setting out to see if Keith would return on his own, then spent some time checking the Garrison and Atlas training facilities before Shiro had pressed his lips into a thin line and admitted this may be worse than he thought.

Adam's never been here before, though he's known of the shack's existence for years. The place where Keith lived with his father, where he ran when things got bad in foster homes. Where he retreated to after Shiro disappeared. Keith doesn't live here now, but Adam imagines it's likely the one place Keith has ever really considered _home_.

There's no sign of transportation outside, but with Keith's wolf, that hardly means anything. They step up onto the porch, and, at Shiro's encouraging nod, Adam knocks lightly at the door.

There's a moment of silence before Adam speaks up. "Keith, are you here? We're worried. I just want to know you're okay." The silence carries on a little longer before he hears footsteps from inside. The door creaks open to reveal Keith, who glances up nervously between Adam and Shiro before ducking his head. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you guys. Just stopped by out here after lunch, and lost track of time."

Adam hums, nodding. "Right. So you definitely didn't run away after I said something stupid earlier." Keith jerks his head up, scowling. "Which I'm sorry for, by the way," Adam adds quickly.

Keith shakes his head. 

"Don't apologize. I'm just being dumb."

"You're not, Keith," Shiro protests. Keith doesn't look convinced, but doesn't argue. 

"Can we come in?" Adam asks. Keith hesitates, but nods, stepping back and heading back inside. He sits on the end of the couch, one leg tucked up underneath him. 

Adam looks around as his eyes adjust to the darkened interior. The room is neat, not much clutter around, though there is a visible layer of dust across most of the room. There are footprints on the wooden floorboards where Keith has disturbed the dust there.

Stepping carefully in those footsteps in an attempt to avoid sending more dust into the air, Adam follows Keith to the couch and sits beside him. He feels the couch dip as Shiro sits on his opposite side, but he's focused on Keith right now, on the way he seems so guarded, so withdrawn into himself.

"Keith, I'm sorry," he repeats, because it _does_ bear repeating. "I was trying to make a joke because I was nervous, and it was entirely unfair to you." He reaches out slowly, giving Keith plenty of time to stop him before he lays a hand on Keith's arm. "You know I don't think that of you, right?"

Keith huffs out a rueful laugh. "I mean, it's true, isn't it? That's what I was, and nothing will ever change that. That's me."

"No," Adam says firmly. "That's who you were, and you had good reason for the things you did. You were a good kid." He pauses, squeezes Keith's arm lightly, prompting him to look up warily to meet Adam's eyes. "Now you're a great man."

"I'm not looking for flattery," Keith says, looking away. 

"Then it's a good thing I'm not flattering you, isn't it?" Adam replies, raising one eyebrow. "Keith- Keith, look at me." He shifts his hand to Keith's jaw, tilting his face up. "You're brave and beautiful and kind and funny, and I'm still in awe that you're willing to be with me." 

He feels Shiro run a hand down his back and turns his head to flash a smile at him over his shoulder before turning back to Keith. "And I freely admit that my insecurity about that is part of what led me to making that joke, so I'll work on that, okay?"

Keith's brow furrows in confusion. "Your insecurity?" 

"I… got a little worried about why you kept refusing to bring some of your stuff to my place," Adam admits. "I kept wondering if it meant you weren't as into what we've been doing as I thought, and instead of talking to you like a fucking adult, I got pushy, and I'm sorry."

"Adam, no," Keith says, sitting up a little straighter. "You weren't pushy, and that's not- I'm into it, I swear. I'm _so_ into it," he repeats, laughing a little. He takes Adam's hand, playing with his fingers for a moment before slotting their fingers together. "I've been scared," he admits. Adam squeezes his hand, a silent encouragement. "Having stuff at your place is like admitting that this is real."

Adam swallows hard. "You don't want it to be real?"

"Of course I do," Keith replies quickly. "It's just, if I admit I really want it, and then you two decide you'd rather move on without me, or you realize I'm not what you want, it's going to hurt so much more."

"Keith." The name is barely more than a breath as Adam's eyes fall closed. He leans in, pressing his forehead to Keith's, and feels Shiro reach around him to take Keith's free hand. There's a moment of silence as he struggles to find what he needs to say, but it's not a long moment, because he knows. He's known for a while, he's just been too afraid to say it with those doubts lingering in the back of his mind. "That's not going to happen. We love you. _I_ love you."

Keith's eyes are wide, but Adam leans in, pressing a soft kiss to Keith's lips. He breathes a sigh of relief when Keith kisses back after only the briefest of hesitation, surging forward and taking his hand back so he can tangle it in the shaggy hair at the nape of Adam's neck.

"I love you, too," Keith says when they part. "I've known for a while, I just haven't said it because I was scared. I'm sorry."

Adam kisses away the apology, lips soft against Keith's lips, cheek, brow.

Shiro presses a kiss to Adam's shoulder, the easiest part to reach, before adding, "We both love you, Keith. We're not going anywhere." Adam slides his hand into the tangle of Keith and Shiro's fingers and squeezes.

"I know that," Keith says, looking down at their three hands joined together. "I do, I promise. Sometimes I just panic and…"

"And things spiral," Adam finishes for him. "I get it."

"All three of us have our issues," Shiro says, hooking his chin over Adam's shoulder so he can see Keith more easily. "But if we can deal with nightmares together, I think we can also deal with spirals like this."

Keith nods, leaning in to kiss Shiro, then Adam again. 

"Do you want a ride back?" Shiro asks. "Or we can get out of your hair if you need some more time to yourself."

"I have stuff to make lasagna, if you're hungry," Adam offers.

"That sounds fantastic," Keith admits, blushing when his stomach lets out a loud gurgle at just the _thought_ of food. "Do you think we could stop by my place, though?" He meets Adam's eyes, smiling a little. "So I can grab a few things to bring with me?"

Adam feels Shiro smiling into his neck at that, and Keith's eyes are soft, though there's still a hint of nerves there as well. That's okay. They can work on that.

"Yeah," he agrees easily. "Yeah, we can do that."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I might possibly add a smutty follow-up to this later, but not sure about that yet. Feel free to come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/B1ackPa1adins)!


End file.
